Monday, May 21, 2007
Yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster ride. Yea, and just as i expected, i woke up with super swelling and puffy eyes. =((
I'm confused. Have i done the right thing? Am i being too cruel? Will i regret my decision in the future? With these questions running through my head for hours after we parted, it's a miracle i still managed to fall asleep. Guess i was mentally drained from the effort of blocking out whatever u said, all the memories u tried to bring back.
I'm really tired. Stop tryin to make me change my mind. You dunno how much pain you're causing, the way u try to tear down that protective shell i so painstakingly built up. You don't know that heart-sinking feeling i get when i see your name flashing on my phone whenever u call. I'm just so scared i'll give in. When we met yesterday, i was so freaked out that my hands were shaking. Are you happy seeing me that weak? Now I'm scared of what will happen next week. I dun wanna face the whole thing again.
I know it may be hard for u to let go ( trust me, it's just as hard for me). But we really have too many differences. Different expectations, different moral values, different personalities. And they're taking a toll on me.
Pls stop saying you'll wait for me. It'll be harder for both of us. Find someone better and more worthy of you. I'm sure there'll be plenty. I'll be happy for you. Seriously :)
Can't we just be besties?
3:05 AM